... Hey Look Ma, I Made It!
About a year ago I boarded a plane heading to my first ever photography workshop which happen to be out of state. Excitement filled my heart and my nerves were a complete mess, but at the same time I was so hopeful. I thought I would come back to Louisiana ready to take over the world but that didn’t seem to happen.
If you would have asked me a year ago where did I see myself going with photography. I probably would have told you “Nowhere” or “I’m just a mom with a camera” because that’s what my “friends” in the business told me. The fact is that I only had one true friend that was also a photographer who rooted for me, and at one point I made it a rule that we couldn’t talk business because I was afraid photography would ruin our friendship.
By December, I almost hated photography because I felt there was almost no one in the industry that was kind, uplifting, or even helpful. I heard hurtful phrases several times including “You have to fight your way to the top”, “You will never make it” or my all time favorite “You can’t do that kind of shooting because it’s mine”. By the end of the year I wanted to just quit altogether. I would vent to Morgan asking him how something that brought me so much joy could also bring me so much heartache? He told me to not give up on my passion and that I should realize my own self-worth is not dictated by others. I’m so glad that in the end I took his advise.
Fast Forward to the Present…
I have THE BEST group of uplifting photography friends that have turned into real friends. We laugh, we chat about ideas, we complain about busy season, we have editing parties, we lift each other up, and we are always supportive of one another. I have come to realize that you don’t have to fight your way to the top be alone and not everyone is out to tear you down any chance they get. Another thing I learned is that there is no such thing as I did it first so it’s mine because as photographers we all take ideas we see somewhere else and draw off of them for inspiration. Sometimes you might just simply recreate the idea and you know what that is perfectly okay. I could never thank my Gal Pals enough for the love and friendship they have shown me. Coincidentally they stepped in as I was about to step out.
I never dreamed of the clients I have today. They are so sweet and supportive of my passion. I now have several clients that love and trust my work so much that they only want to book with me. Some of my clients have become some my best friends. Like really, we now share inside jokes, belly laughs, and even the occasional tear. They don’t mind when I’m a hot mess or scatter brained. They completely understand that I have a family also.
I have grown tremendously in a business sense as well as on a personal level. I may have a tad bit more anxiety some days but I feel free now. I’m free from the negative people who put me down constantly, free from the mindset that you have to do things “this way” or “it’s wrong”and free from the idea of photography only friends. I have grown into my own style as a photographer. Not everyone will like that style, but the ones who do will keep coming around. My skills are way beyond what they were when I first started. If you booked with me a year ago you know I needed that hour and I had to 99% of the time go over it because I spent to much time overthinking. Now, I can bang out 20 poses/ideas in 30 min and still have some time to chat with you. My editing game has also gone up as I invested more time in learning the software I was using better. I love when my clients share those old family pictures and I love that they love them even though sometimes they make me cringe knowing I’m so but better now. I no longer feel like I am just a point and click photographer. I no longer feel like an imposter attempting to fake it till they make it.
So this is me, happy, enjoying the journey, and being thankful for what this past year has taken away and given to me. Perhaps the phrase when one door closes another one opens is true. I know I will never let another person tear me down again like I let that one did before. Here is to another year of growth.
In the words of the famous Panic! At the Disco, “HEY LOOK MA, I MADE IT”
